How to Host a No-Gifts Birthday Party for your Child
My daughter turns 4 soon, and this year, we’re doing something different: We’re celebrating with a no-gifts birthday party.
When it comes to toys, less is more. Researchers agree: time and time again, studies find that children are more imaginative and focused when surrounded by fewer toys:
– A study from the University of Toledo in Ohio suggests “an abundance of toys present reduced quality of toddlers’ play.” Having fewer toys lead young children to engage in deeper creative play.
– Research from the University of Virginia finds that kids prefer the real thing. So instead of getting your child a play kitchen + plastic play food, enlist his/her help in making dinner. Kids’ preferences for the real thing peaks between ages 3 + 4 then remains steady as they grow.
This year, I’m throwing my daughter a no-gifts birthday partythat’s heavy on fun + light on gifts.
Why am I hosting a no-gifts birthday?
Because,as parents, it’s our job to fight back against the culture of consumerism that surrounds us. It’s also our job protect our kids from being swept away by what they think they want versus what they actually need.
It’s on us to say enough is enough, because our kids have neither the wisdom nor the maturity to discern hype from reality. They need us to do it for them.
Intrigued, but don’t know where to start? Here are 8 alternatives to present-heavy birthday celebrations.
1. Politely request no gifts on the birthday party invitation.
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Write your request for no gifts on the invitation, in simple, direct language.
Here are some examples:
“Your presence is the perfect gift, please no things!”
“Jenny has everything she needs. Please no gifts, we just want to celebrate with you!”
“The only gift Jenny wants is the presents of your company.”
“Please no gifts, just your loving presence.”
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Realize that no one likes to arrive empty-handed. Some guests will ignore your request and bring a gift anyway. The guest who do follow your wishes will inevitably feel bad when they notice others brought presents.
If you ask for no presents, stick to your guns. Put any gifts away in a closet to open later; don’t make a big deal out of them either. Don’t have your child open them on display; instead, encourage your child to enjoy time with his/her closest friends and family.
2. Ask for donations to a charity of you or your child’s choosing.
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Make it easy for your guests. Put the charity’s direct link on the e-invitation with detailed instructions.
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3. Ask for monetary contributions.
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Ask guests to contribute to your child’s existing college fund. Be sure to list detailed instructions on the invitation.
Or, ask guests to contribute money towards a larger, more expensive gift.
There are many websites specifically designed to both begin this (sometimes awkward) conversation and streamline this process. I like these two:
Plumfund, whichworks well for younger children.
GoalSetteris ideal for older kids because the site includes the child in the process and encourages him or her to set goals. When it comes time to give gifts, friends and family can contribute to those goals.
Know that guests often bristle at the suggestion of gifting money, so think twice before asking.
4. Ask for a book.
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On the invitation, ask that each child in attendance brings a wrapped book instead of a present.
At the party, every child picks a new book to open + take home.
The book becomes each child’s goody bag.
I love this idea because it eliminates fretting over goody bags. It eliminates gifting cheap plastic junk, too.
5. Ask for a handwritten note for your child to read when he/she is an adult.
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As the parent, begin a binder for all the notes as you collect them over the years.
Even better, start a “secret” email address for your child and ask guests to write him/her an email on every birthday until he/she is 18. This strategy cuts down on clutter but retains the sentiment.
6. Ask guests to bring a previously loved item.
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A handmade, hand-me-down sweater. A well-loved toy that still has a lot of life left. The options are endless here.
The best part? Your child receives a new-ish gift without excess consumerism.
7. Ask for food.
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Ask that each guest bring a non-perishable food item that you will later donate to the local food bank.
Alternately, ask guests to contribute food to the party as a means of lessening your load.
8. Ask specifically for what your child (or the party) needs.
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If your child loves Magnetic Tiles and you know he or she will adore more, why not ask specifically for what you know will be cherished?
Alternately, if you’re hosting the party at home, ask guests to bring something to contribute to the party. Decorating cupcakes? Ask those attending to bring the frosting + the sprinkles. Building birdhouses? Ask your children’s friends to supply the glue and paint.
Attending a child’s party + don’t want to bring a toy? Check out these toy-free gifts, perfect for children of all ages.
