When He Says He’s Not Good Enough for You, Believe Him (2024)

“I’m not good enough for you.”

I’ve heard that on two separate occasions from two different men. In each case, they weren’t explicitly breaking up with me, but trying to entice me to break up with them.

I wasn’t ready to give up on either relationship, so my first instinct was to try to prove them wrong. Instead of realizing that it was their noncommital way of stating they wanted out, I took it upon myself to eliminate their insecurities and make them see our relationship as I saw it, full of potential.

What a waste of time.

But that’s exactly what “I’m not good enough for you” sounds like, a challenge. A challenge to prove your judgment is sound and your belief in the relationship is justified.

He is good enough for you, after all, you chose him.

You see his qualities and you see how great your relationship is (or could be, if he were all-in). All that’s missing is for him to put his doubts aside and see what you see.

Except he already has one foot out the door.

“I’m not good enough for you” is wildly different from “I don’t think we’re good for each other,” or “I…